haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
