sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
