i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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