We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My vagina is very pro this idea
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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