i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
