Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
