i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
