is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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