is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
