Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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