I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize