what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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