how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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