There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
