It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
