let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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