Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize