super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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