Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
