3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
