Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
