i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
