Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
