omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
