I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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