Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
3 2 1 whiskey
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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