the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
