Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
