I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
