His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
