Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
