i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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