even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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