I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
