sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
