I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
