After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
