Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
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Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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