Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
