I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
