your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
