it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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