I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
