positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
