rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
