Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
