i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
