She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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