How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
