bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
