my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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