i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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