How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
