My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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