Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
