so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
