well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
