He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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