Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
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I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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