he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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